Let the river flow...

In the passed 8 weeks, my experience with God has been precious to me. It is hard to put into words, but I'd like to try. I have experienced the very Presence of Christ sitting with me in my home. I have felt His loving arms wrap around me. I have felt His deep love for me. His tender compassion has comforted me when the night of my soul mirrored the storms that were outside of my window this past late winter. As I leaned into Him, sometimes, I could almost hear His actual voice. His words coming to my mind, filling my heart, lifting my inner man and giving me strength. As I received His truth, fear would leave and peace would surround me like warm blankets. Sometimes it was scripture that would come to my mind that I didn't remember memorizing. Sometimes it was a single word that would grab my heart and I would find it in reference and begin my search through His Word with it. His spirit in me was a life ring thrown out into the tempest sea of my soul...I would grab the life rope and hang on!

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How BEAUTIFUL and bright the morning is when now the storm has passed. The night is over and the sun shines once again. My heart rejoices in all that He has done! I am in awe of Him.

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All test results are in. No more cancer. No further treatment is required. It's over!

Doctors will continue imaging every 4 months, then 6 months, then yearly.

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I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me. I know without a shadow of doubt, that He was in the very center. I have learned much and yet it is only like "just" opening the door. I will never be the same from this experience. What the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. He has moved my heart sovereignly to love more, Him and others. I have always loved. But things are different now. He has caused my heart to be willing to risk at a greater level. His love has poured in like mighty waters and has to flow out! Lord, let it be in me as You desire.

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By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light,

So that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints.

And so you can know and understand what is

The immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power

In and for us who believe,

As demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength,

Which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him

At His own Right hand in heavenly places.

Far above all rule and authority and power and dominion and every name!

(above every title that can be conferred),

Not only in this age and in this world, but also in the age and the world which are to come.

And He put all things under His feet and has appointed Him

The universal and supreme Head of the church, which is His body,

The fullness of Him Who fills all in all...

For in that body lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete

And Who fills everything everywhere with Himself.

Ephesians 1:18-23

He reveals deep and secret things...

He knows what is in the darkness and light dwells with Him. Daniel 2:22

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It's official. I have now entered the imaging part of my journey...for the rest of my life. A new level of transparency. An interesting thought.

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My appointment with a Medical Oncologists this past Monday was the hardest one, yet. Even harder than the office visit when I was told I had cancer. On that day, I was mercifully wrapped and secure in a thickness that I can only describe as being God's Spirit. This time, however, God allowed me to feel. As I looked at the posters on the wall that said things like, "Life is precious...do you have a plan yet? We can help you..." I saw with great reality the pathway that I had been on just weeks ago that had now been changed because of a miracle! Thank you, Jesus. And like almost getting hit by a semi on the freeway, my whole body was aware of the closeness of the truth that life can be too short. This morning, as I write, the truth of God's plan that it is not my time to leave this earth quite yet is still sinking in. The talks the Lord and I have shared in the night these past few weeks are still fresh and vibrant to my soul. He has renewed me. Even with death hanging over my head all I could see was LIFE. How can this be?

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For to be carnally minded is death,

But to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

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MUSHROOMS and SECRETS

I want to talk a little about mushrooms. I have heard the word a few times, recently. It has got me thinking...

On Facebook, someone recently said they felt in the dark, like a mushroom. Along with other comments, one loving response was that some mushrooms held great value.

When Darcy and I first moved to Mt Hood we learned very quickly that edible mushrooms grew nearby and that many who lived here knew the hidden places where they grew. Following the lead of a dear neighbor we quickly learned the value of Chantrelles. One day we decided to venture out on our own. As we walked around Lost Lake we found some mushrooms that "looked" right, as seen from the book that we had glanced at. As we filled our sack we suddenly felt unsure and decided to throw them all away and wash our hands. A wise decision, as later we learned they were not edible. Even touching some mushrooms can make one sick!

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Another story, in 2005 I visited 7 Indian Reservations in 7 days with a group of Jesus loving women. At one of the places we ministered, a tiny, bold and powerful native woman prophesied over me. Placing her hand strongly on my head she loudly declared me a Mushroom of God. Saying that I was hidden in the secret place with Him (Psalm 91:1) and that I would be brought into the light: an ingredient that God would use in many dishes...His flavor in me creating more of Him. She went on to say that He would allow me to take on the flavors of what he was doing in many situations but to remain in Him. She then laughed loudly and said, "Lord, what is it with vegetables lately, the last person I prayed for was an asparagus!"

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The cancer experiece has brought another mushroom story. Repeatedly, I have heard the doctors say it was like a mushroom because of the long stem and then balloon type mass connected to it. Each time I hear this I think of the small, musty mushrooms that grew out from under the damp backseat mat of our old Pontiac years ago. Ew.

One night, God told me the mushroom tumor's name was "doubt". I have to be honest, just before this experience that pushed me further into His Word and His very near Presence, doubt had become a part of me. It was a sudden thing that seemed to manifest or show itself, after the release of the Songs in the Night CD that God had Sovereignly done. I doubted my abilities. His Words of truth were spoken. His vision was fulfilled in me. But, still I doubted. In my ability? I know better than that! But still, I let the lie of the enemy come in. It sounded right. I realize that even something spoken by God can be unfufilled if we do not recieve His truth but believe a lie.

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But the word is very near you, in your mouth,

And in your mind and in your heart,

so that you can do it...

I have set before you life and death,

Blessings and the curses;

Therefore choose life

That you and your descendants may live.

Deuteronomy 30:14,19

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