Let the river flow...

In the passed 8 weeks, my experience with God has been precious to me. It is hard to put into words, but I'd like to try. I have experienced the very Presence of Christ sitting with me in my home. I have felt His loving arms wrap around me. I have felt His deep love for me. His tender compassion has comforted me when the night of my soul mirrored the storms that were outside of my window this past late winter. As I leaned into Him, sometimes, I could almost hear His actual voice. His words coming to my mind, filling my heart, lifting my inner man and giving me strength. As I received His truth, fear would leave and peace would surround me like warm blankets. Sometimes it was scripture that would come to my mind that I didn't remember memorizing. Sometimes it was a single word that would grab my heart and I would find it in reference and begin my search through His Word with it. His spirit in me was a life ring thrown out into the tempest sea of my soul...I would grab the life rope and hang on!

~

How BEAUTIFUL and bright the morning is when now the storm has passed. The night is over and the sun shines once again. My heart rejoices in all that He has done! I am in awe of Him.

~

All test results are in. No more cancer. No further treatment is required. It's over!

Doctors will continue imaging every 4 months, then 6 months, then yearly.

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I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me. I know without a shadow of doubt, that He was in the very center. I have learned much and yet it is only like "just" opening the door. I will never be the same from this experience. What the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. He has moved my heart sovereignly to love more, Him and others. I have always loved. But things are different now. He has caused my heart to be willing to risk at a greater level. His love has poured in like mighty waters and has to flow out! Lord, let it be in me as You desire.

~

By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light,

So that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints.

And so you can know and understand what is

The immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power

In and for us who believe,

As demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength,

Which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him

At His own Right hand in heavenly places.

Far above all rule and authority and power and dominion and every name!

(above every title that can be conferred),

Not only in this age and in this world, but also in the age and the world which are to come.

And He put all things under His feet and has appointed Him

The universal and supreme Head of the church, which is His body,

The fullness of Him Who fills all in all...

For in that body lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete

And Who fills everything everywhere with Himself.

Ephesians 1:18-23

They were stunned with bewildered wonder and marveled...

Matthew 8: 26-27

Then Jesus got up and rebuked the winds and the sea,

And there was a great and wonderful calm.

And they were stunned with bewildered wonder and marveled, saying,

What kind of Man is this that even the winds and the sea obey!

It was 5 weeks ago yesterday that a tumor was found in my abdomen. There have been so many questions. The ride has definately been equivilent to being in a boat and tossed in the ocean.

As we had 2 doctor appointments this week, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday, Darcy and I decided to spend some time at the beach in between appointments.

In the future, I look forward to sharing the pictures that our camera captured with you of the full rainbow over the ocean that God gave to us while there on Wednesday. Pictures were taken right from our room at the water's edge. The sky behind the rainbow on the horizon was full of the darkest of storm clouds. As the colorful light illuminated the whole sky in front of the dark clouds, we noticed a large rock, like a table in the water, being splashed with the white crashing of waves just under the rainbow's right end...as though it were a pot of gold. God's Spirit spoke. He said, "Do not doubt me or my Word or the Rock that you rest upon; that you stand upon." Jesus, the fullfilment of God's Promises! More of that story later...

We witnessed a miracle on thursday!

Tuesday's appointment with the Radiologists confirmed what we had been told and more:

1.

A very rare maligment cancer tumor was removed from my abdomen

through surgery January 27, 2011.

A Malignant Fibroid Tumor/Spindle Type

2.

Only 19 cases known, world wide, taken from the abdomen.

I am #20.

3.

A wide panel of Oncologists, Surgeon Oncologists, Pathologists, Radiologists,

Medical Oncologists and Rare Cancer Specialists in Pathology

are making a case together for best treatment.

I am currently seeing 6 of these in the NW.

3.

This type of cancer is believed to spread or come back,

especially if the margin is negitive.

4.

The pathology report from the specialists in Washington DC

came back that the margin of the tumor removed from my abdomen was negitive. We are learning about the margin and how it is determined. What we understand is that it is rolled in ink, frozen and sliced and studied under a microscope. If dividing cells (spreading cells) are near the outer walls or in the stem cut from surgery, it is declared a negitive margin.

5.

There were 5 points touching, meaning the tumor touched 5 areas of organs

or soft tissue. Because of a negitive margin report, a second surgery was suggested for biopsies in satalite areas (organs/soft tissue surrounding) to see if cancer had spread. Also, they planned to take more from where the stem was removed to see if it was possible to get a clear margin.

6.

Questions were still being discussed as to where the negitive margin was. Was it in the stem of the tumor only or on the other areas of the tumor walls? If so, how would it be determined what organs and where, were in contact with the tumor? They would explore in surgery, remove anything suspicious and leave a tiny metel clip for radiation if areas were found.

7.

We learned that this form of cancer does not show up in blood tests. Only through imagery and x-rays would we see if there were more. Also, in the future, imagery was required to keep tabs on possible regrowth.

8.

We were told that this form of cancer did not respond to chemo. Radiation was a strong possiblity, especially because it was not a clear margin. Doctor mentioned that surgery may give us a possible clear margin at the stem. We would discuss radiation later, after surgery. Still many questions and under study.

9.

We were to see another Oncologist Surgeon Thursday.

Thursdays appointment lasted for over 3 hours, but it was worth it! Darcy and I spent much time alone in the room waiting because of the phone conferences taking place on my behalf. New evidence had been revealed since Tuesday and the pathologists report from Washington DC had been changed! It went from negitive to clear! Suddenly I was given a clear margin! What?

I knew it was true. Still we waited until my doctor called to confirm what the panel was saying before sharing the news. Were they convinced? What was next? (are we done?)

My doctor suggested I stay "fluid". To let things ride a bit...continue to see the other doctors. She said that she wanted them to know me and my case because of how rare this was and she understood that it made things complicated.

So here we are...

There is imaging to do. Yes, patience required. But, we witnessed a miracle!

I believe with all my heart that Jesus stopped the storm. I will never be the same. Who is this Man that even the winds and the sea obey?

I want to leave you with this thought. Are you waiting for a report? Whose report will you believe? Will you beleive what you see or will you believe what you know He has spoken to your heart? Read Numbers 13 & 14 and be encouraged. Our days are numbered by the Lord. His word tells us so. So in life and in death...He is life! Let every breath praise Him!

I Will Hold You...in My Victorious Right Hand

This is a difficult entry to write. Some of you will be shocked, as Darcy and I have been, to learn of such news. Some of you will be tempted to fear. Do not fear. These are not only my heart felt words to you, but your heavenly Fathers.

Recently, I have had some questions regarding my health which led to surgery January 27th. A 9.5 cm tumor was removed from my lower abdomen. We were thinking possibly a large ovarian cyst at the time, but because of it's size it was hard to determine what it was. It turned out to be an extremely rare type of cancer.

And so the journey begins.

My next appointment is this Tuesday, February 15th. We will learn much more then. We really don't know much of anything at this point and we have many questions. My plan is to communicate through this site. Again, how I wish it were possible to call each of you personally. I thank you ahead for your prayers. For myself, for Darcy, my children and family and for one another. May God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

(I am in the process of creating a website, as the Lord has been leading me to share my life and having a website with a blog attached was part of that. (Hmm...I wasn't quite expecting this!) I will continue to share this way until the website is up and running and I will let you know)

I could not help but read my first entry before this. Yes, together, if you would like to join me, we will seek the Lord and stay very close to Him through this uncharted territory. I am belieiving, with all of my heart, that we will see the goodness of the Lord at every turn. He has a plan in this! I belong to Him. I gave Him my life a long time ago and I am in good hands. He loves me deeply. He knows what is in my heart because He has put desires there that I know He will fulfill. He is the center of my life and it is all about singing and praising Him and telling others of his great love. I believe He wants to "show off" His power and beauty through this. Let's trust Him in His work in me as He is drawing me nearer to Him than I have ever been before.

His first song to me this year, January 2011, was taken from Song of Solomon 1:4.

Draw me and we will run after You...

So let's run after Him together! I have so much to share. My heart is full of the goodness and the love of the Lord! I have peace and I am resting in Him. He has been speaking to me from the very beginning. I will share more later, but let me leave you with this last thought...

At the very beginning, as I began to cry out to Him from the depths of my heart as fear knocked loudly as my door. I felt so vulnerable. I asked Him to put me into the right hands in the medical field. He spoke almost immediately through a dear friend. He gave me Isaiah 41:10-

Fear not, for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand of rightness and justice.

Which led to Acts 18:10-

For I am with you and no man shall assalt you to harm you,

for I have many people in this city.

Which led to Jeremiah 1:8-

Be not afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.

ox Karen