As the rain and snow come down from heaven...it shall accomplish... in the thing for which I sent it!

Oh how I love the snow. I hope you are enjoying it, too. It brings a quietness. There is such beauty to drink in and a time of reflection, if we allow it. I was drawn to read Isaiah 55:8-13 as I looked out of my window yesterday when the snow began to fall up here in Welches.

My thoughts are not your thoughts...My ways are not your ways...

Often the Lord shows me that He has my hand. Recently, I saw it again as He comforted me. Every time I read or think on this passage it reminds me of being a small child. My very small hand in His very large one. My small feet keeping in step with Him who is standing so much taller than me, watching over me thoughtfully and staying near me at the pace that He knows that I can go. He is thoughtful, caring and merciful.
In the past weeks as I have been healing and waiting, Time has stopped for me. I capitalize Time because I believe that God is Time. He created it. In one of my morning devotion readings He gave me a little understanding about what He is after in His beloved Bride. How it is important to Him and so very vital to our relationship with Him that we draw near Him.

He withdrew...to a solitary place. Matthew 14:13

John Ruskin writes, "God does not write the music of our lives without a plan. Our part is to learn the tune and not be discouraged during the rests. They are not to be slurred over or omitted, nor used to destroy the melody or change the key. If we will only look up, God Himself will count the time for us.

With our eyes on Him, our next note will be full and clear.

If we sorrowfully say to ourselves, "There is no music in a rest," let us not forget that the rest is part of the making of the music. The process is often slow and painful in life, yet how patiently God works to teach us! And how long He waits for us to learn the lesson.

Come to Jesus, He knows your every need

Come to Jesus, He longs to set you free

From the burdens, that you carry on your own

Come to Jesus, He's waiting for you...

~

Lift your eyes to Him, Cry out His name

He will answer you, Don't be afraid

His arms are open wide, He'll carry you

Come to Jesus, His strength will see you through

Come to Jesus, He's waiting for you...

~

Come to Jesus, He'll meet you where you are

Come to Jesus, He'll remove your painful scars

He'll give you beauty

New HOPE and happiness

Come to Jesus, He's waiting for you...

~

He's been with you all along

He will give your night a song

And when you look into His eyes you will see

Eyes of Love...For you

Come to Jesus

Karen Lais

Songs in the Night

They were stunned with bewildered wonder and marveled...

Matthew 8: 26-27

Then Jesus got up and rebuked the winds and the sea,

And there was a great and wonderful calm.

And they were stunned with bewildered wonder and marveled, saying,

What kind of Man is this that even the winds and the sea obey!

It was 5 weeks ago yesterday that a tumor was found in my abdomen. There have been so many questions. The ride has definately been equivilent to being in a boat and tossed in the ocean.

As we had 2 doctor appointments this week, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday, Darcy and I decided to spend some time at the beach in between appointments.

In the future, I look forward to sharing the pictures that our camera captured with you of the full rainbow over the ocean that God gave to us while there on Wednesday. Pictures were taken right from our room at the water's edge. The sky behind the rainbow on the horizon was full of the darkest of storm clouds. As the colorful light illuminated the whole sky in front of the dark clouds, we noticed a large rock, like a table in the water, being splashed with the white crashing of waves just under the rainbow's right end...as though it were a pot of gold. God's Spirit spoke. He said, "Do not doubt me or my Word or the Rock that you rest upon; that you stand upon." Jesus, the fullfilment of God's Promises! More of that story later...

We witnessed a miracle on thursday!

Tuesday's appointment with the Radiologists confirmed what we had been told and more:

1.

A very rare maligment cancer tumor was removed from my abdomen

through surgery January 27, 2011.

A Malignant Fibroid Tumor/Spindle Type

2.

Only 19 cases known, world wide, taken from the abdomen.

I am #20.

3.

A wide panel of Oncologists, Surgeon Oncologists, Pathologists, Radiologists,

Medical Oncologists and Rare Cancer Specialists in Pathology

are making a case together for best treatment.

I am currently seeing 6 of these in the NW.

3.

This type of cancer is believed to spread or come back,

especially if the margin is negitive.

4.

The pathology report from the specialists in Washington DC

came back that the margin of the tumor removed from my abdomen was negitive. We are learning about the margin and how it is determined. What we understand is that it is rolled in ink, frozen and sliced and studied under a microscope. If dividing cells (spreading cells) are near the outer walls or in the stem cut from surgery, it is declared a negitive margin.

5.

There were 5 points touching, meaning the tumor touched 5 areas of organs

or soft tissue. Because of a negitive margin report, a second surgery was suggested for biopsies in satalite areas (organs/soft tissue surrounding) to see if cancer had spread. Also, they planned to take more from where the stem was removed to see if it was possible to get a clear margin.

6.

Questions were still being discussed as to where the negitive margin was. Was it in the stem of the tumor only or on the other areas of the tumor walls? If so, how would it be determined what organs and where, were in contact with the tumor? They would explore in surgery, remove anything suspicious and leave a tiny metel clip for radiation if areas were found.

7.

We learned that this form of cancer does not show up in blood tests. Only through imagery and x-rays would we see if there were more. Also, in the future, imagery was required to keep tabs on possible regrowth.

8.

We were told that this form of cancer did not respond to chemo. Radiation was a strong possiblity, especially because it was not a clear margin. Doctor mentioned that surgery may give us a possible clear margin at the stem. We would discuss radiation later, after surgery. Still many questions and under study.

9.

We were to see another Oncologist Surgeon Thursday.

Thursdays appointment lasted for over 3 hours, but it was worth it! Darcy and I spent much time alone in the room waiting because of the phone conferences taking place on my behalf. New evidence had been revealed since Tuesday and the pathologists report from Washington DC had been changed! It went from negitive to clear! Suddenly I was given a clear margin! What?

I knew it was true. Still we waited until my doctor called to confirm what the panel was saying before sharing the news. Were they convinced? What was next? (are we done?)

My doctor suggested I stay "fluid". To let things ride a bit...continue to see the other doctors. She said that she wanted them to know me and my case because of how rare this was and she understood that it made things complicated.

So here we are...

There is imaging to do. Yes, patience required. But, we witnessed a miracle!

I believe with all my heart that Jesus stopped the storm. I will never be the same. Who is this Man that even the winds and the sea obey?

I want to leave you with this thought. Are you waiting for a report? Whose report will you believe? Will you beleive what you see or will you believe what you know He has spoken to your heart? Read Numbers 13 & 14 and be encouraged. Our days are numbered by the Lord. His word tells us so. So in life and in death...He is life! Let every breath praise Him!

I Will Hold You...in My Victorious Right Hand

This is a difficult entry to write. Some of you will be shocked, as Darcy and I have been, to learn of such news. Some of you will be tempted to fear. Do not fear. These are not only my heart felt words to you, but your heavenly Fathers.

Recently, I have had some questions regarding my health which led to surgery January 27th. A 9.5 cm tumor was removed from my lower abdomen. We were thinking possibly a large ovarian cyst at the time, but because of it's size it was hard to determine what it was. It turned out to be an extremely rare type of cancer.

And so the journey begins.

My next appointment is this Tuesday, February 15th. We will learn much more then. We really don't know much of anything at this point and we have many questions. My plan is to communicate through this site. Again, how I wish it were possible to call each of you personally. I thank you ahead for your prayers. For myself, for Darcy, my children and family and for one another. May God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

(I am in the process of creating a website, as the Lord has been leading me to share my life and having a website with a blog attached was part of that. (Hmm...I wasn't quite expecting this!) I will continue to share this way until the website is up and running and I will let you know)

I could not help but read my first entry before this. Yes, together, if you would like to join me, we will seek the Lord and stay very close to Him through this uncharted territory. I am belieiving, with all of my heart, that we will see the goodness of the Lord at every turn. He has a plan in this! I belong to Him. I gave Him my life a long time ago and I am in good hands. He loves me deeply. He knows what is in my heart because He has put desires there that I know He will fulfill. He is the center of my life and it is all about singing and praising Him and telling others of his great love. I believe He wants to "show off" His power and beauty through this. Let's trust Him in His work in me as He is drawing me nearer to Him than I have ever been before.

His first song to me this year, January 2011, was taken from Song of Solomon 1:4.

Draw me and we will run after You...

So let's run after Him together! I have so much to share. My heart is full of the goodness and the love of the Lord! I have peace and I am resting in Him. He has been speaking to me from the very beginning. I will share more later, but let me leave you with this last thought...

At the very beginning, as I began to cry out to Him from the depths of my heart as fear knocked loudly as my door. I felt so vulnerable. I asked Him to put me into the right hands in the medical field. He spoke almost immediately through a dear friend. He gave me Isaiah 41:10-

Fear not, for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand of rightness and justice.

Which led to Acts 18:10-

For I am with you and no man shall assalt you to harm you,

for I have many people in this city.

Which led to Jeremiah 1:8-

Be not afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.

ox Karen

A Light Unto My Path

Recently, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "consider your path" so I stopped to consider it. It was then I realized that I had come to a Y in the road regarding some things I have been busy doing. As I asked the Lord about this I became aware of some changes suddenly happening in my life and of a deep desire of my heart coming to the surface. In this time of considering my path, I recognized that God was leading me to some new relationships and new creative work for my hands and life. Also, He revealed some new areas of growth that He desired in me. Writing and sharing my life out loud is part of that (which I am learning!) God also began showing me some areas completed in my life and that I was moving ahead with Him. I had just been considering taking a class when He reminded me of something my friend Bubba said this last August that made my spirit leap. He said, "you don't need to sign up for another class...what you need is more of His Presence!" Hm... this is true. I am so thankful that Papa God is precise in His care and so very faithful to guide me to new paths and then when the time is right, gives the courage to focus on the new things. Oh, how refreshing he is!

Below is a word picture I recieved in prayer. I am blogging it because I wanted to document it but also I want to share it with others as God would lead, who, perhaps like me, are searching for Him and depending on Him to illuminate their path. Are you aware of a desire coming to the surface of your heart? Maybe an unfulfilled dream or longing has popped up and causing a sense of lack that you are not sure what to do with at the moment?

Lack. Sometimes this is how He gets our attention. Recently, God showed me my desire in an area I sensed lack in. And then, it was suddenly "time" for that desire to be embraced and engaged in. I had such a deep longing bubble up! A deep desire that my life would be filled with meaning and purpose along side others with the same passion! Who we stand next to and hold hands with are a big deal. I am searching to know Him more. The passion is growing. The fire is getting bigger. What's a person to do with that? Seek Him! Seek His wisdom.

If this speaks to you, I hope you are encouraged by the word picture below. It was received as I prayed for a friend, but I also saw the person below with many faces. I believe it is the face of all those who seek Him with all of their heart, mind and soul. I believe the crowd represents those we each encourage along the way. We need one another. We are in this together.

On the very first day, when I came to the Lord to lift you up, I saw an unlit torch being put into your hands. Your surroundings reminded me of a Gilligan's Island episode where it was jungle like and old, forgotten, prehistoric or uncivilized. Almost immediately the torch was lit by a large flame coming out of the darkness! After the torch in your hand was lit, the first thing I noticed was a large group of people surrounding you and looking into the firey torch that you were lifting up. Because of the darkness, the light was exceptionally bright and colorful (lots of orange and blue and yellow and red) and the flame was wonderfully warm! The people crowded close around the light and around you. On another day I saw you walking a path, torch held high (same jungle like atmosphere with the group following very closely behind you) and entering into a dark cave. It reminded me of an old gold mine. It was hidden by foliage and vines growing up in front of it from over time. The light was so very big and bright that it was as though there were more than one torch lit. Everyone wanted to go into the cave to "see", not wanting to be without the light or left behind in the darkness. There was great excitement to join in the search (this is when I heard and saw the word "Wisdom"). The amazing torch of fire was like nothing I have ever seen. It was a beautiful, very large blaze of fire, with sparkles and glitter in it, exposing everything around it and outside of it was deep darkness, like nothingness. It's illumintation was magnificent! Every face that looked up into it radiated light.

Psalm 36: His Lovingkindness (Hebrew chesed ) is also translated "steadfast love", "mercy", "goodness", "unfailing love", and is equivalent to the NT "grace". In verse 9 this light is further revealed in Jesus (John 8:12).

Psalm 36:9~ "...in Your light we see light...oh continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You, and your righteousness to the upright in heart".

Paths

Proverbs 3:17

"Seek wisdom...the wisdom of the Lord...Her ways are highways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace."

Psalm 139:3-12

"You sift and search out my path and my lying down and You are aquainted with all my ways...You know my unuttered words...You have beset me and shut me in, behind and before. You lay Your hand upon me...where can I go from Your Spirit? Even in darkness there is light because of You...even the darkness hides nothing from You but shines as day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You."